The Group Grows of Contributing Poets…

And that’s the good news. I have asked some poets I really admire, besides Dr. RK Singh to post their work here and we then all make comments.  This will take a bit of time,  and that’s fine.  Meanwhile, Dr. Singh and I will post our own work, and make comments about each other!

This is a very exciting time for me because it’s rare that you can get insight into poetry issues outside of a classroom…and it’s also rare that you can pick those poems you actually want to read.

Dr. Singh mentioned something about freeverse yesterday, and rhythmic issues (which aren’t free) in freeverse.  I hope he will be able to clarify this , and I know he will , because I am up against a wall on some of these issues with poetry.

There will be many more issues of such, but this is the way we learn.

I write some poetry based on different mythologies, mostly Celtic and Greek, so I’ll post one that really needs rewrite.

As Dr. Singh has mentioned in his letter yesterday:  “Writing means rewriting.”  I don’ think it really ever ends because there is always room for improvement in poetry.

Lady Nyo

MYSTIC MARRIAGE

Minos begs a gift of Poseidon and
from the sea comes a white bull.

Glorious Bull! With hooves of gold,
eyes of fire and sweet of breath.
Pasiphae, Mino’s wife
besotted with the sight of him
begs Mino to spare his sword
and offers her handmaidens
for the sacrifice.

Tender-hearted Mino allows his wife
to rule his judgement
all sense is pushed aside,
havoc soon overturns the throne.

Pasiphae builds a wooden cow
and besotted with lust
climbs into the decoy
Seduces the golden hooved Bull.

The Minotaur is born, suckled from
Pasiphae’s paps,
grew wild –the labyrinth
built to imprison him.

Unnatural love- making produces
unnatural monster Minotaur
half man and half bull,
given freedom only in a maze,
fed on virgins of both sexes.

But Poseidon has the last laugh.
He was the gift, the snow white bull
and cuckolds Mino
for his greed.

Mystic marriage overturns a throne and kingdom,
reveals the deception of woman
produces monster offspring.

In his maze all paths lead to the grave.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2009

In the spirit of “Writing MEANS Rewriting”….I welcome all crits and comments about HOW this poem, very rough, can be rewritten, for clarity, rhythm and any other issue that strikes your fancy.  I already see  layers here that can be addressed, perhaps extending this short poem (this issue at the end…”In his maze all paths lead to the grave”…) and there are others….But as I write here…there is no ego involved….I am here to learn!

Lady Nyo

Tags: Dr. Singh, Greek Mythology, poetry, Rewriting Poetry never ends