Why can’t men be more like Women?

These last few days have been a revelation to me….. and to others. The troll that gave me such a time on this blog is gone, still muttering in spam ether, as impotent now as he probably was in real life.

I am wondering at a ‘man’ who approaches a woman with such foul language and immediately marginalizes himself in the process.

What is the objective? It can not be denied he looks like a woman hater.

Isn’t this counterproductive? At least to a man who calls himself the Latin for “manly man”??

What ever happened to civility? Whatever happened to ‘manly’ values?

Well, the troll’s behavior has set off some backstage discussion on the behavior of men in general amongst girlfriends and men we know.

We have been comparing notes: We also see some of the Gorean men we have either known in some fashion, either up close or on the internet, also suffer from boorish behavior. Certainly not as bad as this troll, but pretty bad.

There seems to be self proclaimed Gorean men who relegate women to the back of the bus: it’s this second class citizenship they trumpet that rankles intelligent women. Of course, with the Goreans, there is little wiggle room if you are ‘female’. Either a slave or a Free Woman, but there isn’t much choice.

I was reading the Gorean Public Boards a couple of weeks ago, just seeing if the general tone towards women had reformed, let up or changed any. Sad to say it hadn’t. One poster had his nuts in a knot about women voting, another said something nasty about women discussing politics. The last thing he wanted to hear was a ‘bunch of females talking politics.’

There was more, but it was enough. My eyes were crossing and I was getting antsy. Perhaps these men have these issues….or opinions ….because they are insecure? Perhaps they really can’t see women as we really are, full of intelligence, sense and abilities because they are fearful of exposing their own failings?

Not all of them are of this mold. I’ve actually talked to a few who have better sense, manners, grasp of reality and themselves, and realize that it is self-defeating, just plain stupid… to relegate women to such ridiculous standards and practice. But there seems to be some real hangups with many men…and some of the offenders are Gorean.

Quel dommage.

Well, this got a number of us to thinking….Misogynists come in all stripes, and this troll of a few nights before was rabid, but belittling women today seems to be some ‘boy sports’.

And men who refuse to see women in all their potential…are just …well,


Lady Nyo

She walked slowly to center stage, the hall empty, a few stage lights on. Rehearsing the Strauss, she struggled until the music became second nature. Glancing into the darkness, she raised her eyes upwards, tears falling in streams to her breast. He left, calling her overly dramatic, insecure. Right he was, the music did unbalance her. She was grasping at straws, her nerves raw. The Strauss tormented, rattled her apart. All that beauty and death. Transcendent.

She remembered his lips on her breast bending her backward over the bed, moving into her sex, arousing her to a passion only the music matched. Climaxes, lyrically linked together, coached out by the maestro, his tongue a fleshy baton conducting the rhythm. She missed his strong, elegant hands.

Now he was gone, choosing *this* week to leave, wishing her ‘luck’. Distressed, she floated in doubt. Backstage a French horn softly played a passage of the Strauss.

She raised her head and squared her shoulders. Fuck him. She *was* the Soprano.

She was in control of her life now, center stage. Double fuck him.


He sat in the dark, his eyes glittering like a garden snake, his lips pressed tightly together. He was still the maestro, he was still in control. He would make her remember.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2008

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3 Responses to “Why can’t men be more like Women?”

  1. smotp Says:

    My Dear Jane

    It is an unfortunate truth that there are some men who are in fact scared of and threatened by women. They fear the ‘Earth Mother’ the fecund force of nature that is in reality women.

    Please don’t think I am harking back to the ‘barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen’ mode of thought in my comments, I am referring to something that seems to have happened millennia ago.

    The godhead was then Astarte, the Great Mother. the earliest finds of sculpted images are of wonderful women with great breasts, round bellies and magnificent buttocks. Images of powerful, fertile and earthy women, the source of everything that is human.

    The order of society was not paternal but instead a more egalitarian matriarchal arrangement.
    The something that changed all that was the switch. The overturning of that most ancient social arranagement to that of Kingship. The perceived godgiven right of men to rule, to master to demand obedience.
    Much seems to have been lost with that change in terms of the true equality of women, the reality that we are partners in everything.

    The fear of some men is the realisation that in fact everything we are comes from women. Our language and social structure, the nurture of our children and so much more that men apparently as a sex are not made for.

    The deliberate subjugation and virtual slavery of women by men, in many parts of the world still an unfortunate reality, is more about control of a perceived threat than a ‘natural order’. Our Western way has the perception that Men are the ‘leaders’ and women follow. It is in reality a sham, I have travelled and have seen groups of ‘men’ congregated, loafing, swapping worthless stories and hot air while their world is run and ordered by the women who toil to make life tolerable. Men are on top only by the gift of women, and they deep down know that and are scared. So they create all the nonsense that perpetuates the ‘natural order’ to cling to the fiction that they are the ‘masters’

    Make no mistake I relish taking total control of a strong and intelligent woman, bending her to my will and desire and bringing us both great satisfaction and pleasure. But I understand that in fact I am granted that delicious power by her and not through any ‘god given right’ of my gender.

    Rant over.


  2. avatara Says:

    I would ask that you please forgive the weakness of men who believe they have to portray a boor in public in order to appear strong, lovely lady.

    The fact that too many men, in public venues, display this behavior toward women doesn’t mean that they are actually displaying behavior that is consistent with Gorean thought. On the contrary, a true Gorean man doesn’t need to be obnoxious or belittling, or demeaning. He recognizes who he is, honors his nature, and goes about his life in quiet strength.

    Those of us who have been around for far too many years can tell you that now, in this moment, there are perhaps a tenth of the number of men, and women, who used to be around. We hear people in the Gorean community commiserating over the one’s who have abandoned the community. The reality is, those who left are simply going about living their lives. They don’t need to interact on forums or online environments to “be” Gorean. There is a quote that these men, and women, will use which says “Do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so”.

    That in a nutshell is the philosophy. So, please forgive those who are still too bound up in ego and their own search, to merely live. And please believe that Gor, and being Gorean, is not the littleness, meanness, and neuroses of some of the people who use it for their own purposes.


  3. ladynyo Says:

    Oh, avatara! Great sentiments here!

    I so want to believe this…I really do. I had a taste of some excellent Gorean thought…in the books…pieces…and even through some people..that you and I know.

    I really want to believe this…you know when you sense something is right…goes straight to your heart?? Makes your senses crow with delight and response???

    I have felt that in some Gorean spheres..or people..even some that confounded me, or confused me…etc..there was something that was beyond my immediate understanding , but something inside me responded in the gut.

    Ok…I will try again…with the books…and with that kernel of philosophy:

    “Do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so”. I know from where it springs…and it is rather true and beautiful…it’s just ..you know..

    the humans it passes through!




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