Oh, this is not going to be popular.
How can one hold to the scientific basis of Athene’s argument
and at the same time feel this:
“A woman is a helpless prisoner of her sexuality.”
But there it is. Is this an argument for Natural Order??
I don’t think so…but who knows. I just feel…or know somehow deep in my belly…or lower thereabouts…that most of us do recognize our desire to be acknowledged as deeply female…and do things, naturally without consciously thinking, or perhaps consciously doing so…
That we bend Heaven and Hell, to express that feminine nature…when we find a man opposite ourselves, who is strong and attractive enough and intelligent. We sent out ‘signals’…perhaps challenging them to ‘prove it to us’ that they ARE strong, will protect us from pitbulls and flying glass, etc. Perhaps we constantly test them…because we must have this security. This assurance that they really are worthy of our submission or service or whatever you call it.
Our power, as women….lies in part in our ability to seduce…to utilize our feminine power to impact with our beauty, wit and intelligence.
Lately I have been feeling this sentiment very strongly as a dancer. I realized recently that I was not just learning bellydance for the pure ‘joy’ of sore muscles and a strained back, but because I realized these movements reached something very deep in me…something dark and primal and sexual. It reached into a core of femininity that I hadn’t understood before. It is not just for myself that I dance, but to express the essence of me. I am a woman in full power when I dance.
And that power opens me sexually. I am strong and totally female when I dance.
Also recently I wondered if it was ‘proper’ to dance with such ‘openness’…even to thinking of these objectives? Well, belly dance is a dance of seduction, and we can call it ‘birth movements’ all we want, but in the beginning… and the end, it is all about our seductive feminine power. The beauty of expressing the essential female.
Perhaps we aren’t so helpless after all. Perhaps we are more powerful than we imagine. Perhaps with our seductive abilities, hell the essence of our femininity…we make prisoners of men.
Lady Nyo
OBEDIENCE
You,
scowl deeply,
I,
continue to
dance around
aware
of annoying.
La, La,
silly, silly
woman,
whirling
around
a dervish,
arms touching
your territory
mindful
of grimace.
pushing the
boundaries
of your nature.
Oh! such
a witless tease,
provoking
your anger
I continue
my revolving.
Enough!
You growl,
forcing
me still
within
the corral
of your arms
and
slyly I smile
wanting
my orbit
dissolved
into your own.
janekohutbartels
Copyrighted, 2008
Tags: D/s, power and control, seduction, sexuality, The power of the feminine
Lady Nyo's Weblog 
December 31, 2008 at 5:11 am
“A woman is a helpless prisoner of her sexuality. […] Is this an argument for Natural Order??”
I, personally, would say no – it’s not an argument for natural order or any similar theory.
In a way, all humans, submissive or dominant, are prisoners of sexuality.
We all have urges to reproduce and bear children to further our species – if we didn’t, we would not reproduce and then there goes the species. We all have urges to be sexual creatures at some point.
I think that an urge to be sexual is not the same as an urge to be submissive. But because society has put forth this image of women being submissive sexual beings, if there is an urge to be sexual, it is sometimes confused with, or coupled with, an urge to be submissive. I do not think that a woman who feels a need or desire to be a sexual person should or needs to also feel that she needs to be submissive as well.
Granted, there may be times when one has an urge to be specifically submissive (sexual or not), but I do think those times are individual psychological needs of individual persons rather than a genetic collective urge of the entire sex.
To be acknowledged as deeply female – even that can be up for debate. What does that mean, to be acknowledged as deeply female? One person’s idea of femininity may not be someone else’s.
Respectfully,
Athene
LikeLike
December 31, 2008 at 5:47 am
I understand, but I feel this issue….of sexuality and power….very sharply right now. I don’t know if it’s a ‘genetic collective urge of the entire sex’, but now, I am taken with it’s power.
There’s little of the submission in it….and more of the power.
Perhaps before a strong and acceptable male, it translates into a submissive act…with a seductive quality…but right now I am taken by the potential and strength of it.
Internally, and what I can project externally.
Thanks, Athene…I am working these things out and they aren’t exactly what I assumed.
Jane
LikeLike
December 31, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I believe most women, have the urge to be submissive to a strong male. That is why we seek them out for protection, and to take care of us. I believe being submissive is a trait, not learned but nurtured too.
In the animal kingdom if I can for a moment relate female and male. The female seeks out the most dominant males to mate with. Not that we are animals, but I believe it holds true for humans too.
There are women who are dominant, that have dominant jobs and who are in charge of others. I believe they can hold that job, but wish to give up the power with a strong man. It gives them permission to submit to give up power even if it is for a short time. Then returning to their role. Why do women feel they have to compete with men? I don’t feel that competitive. I feel I want the man to be stronger than me, in all ways. I have the need to submit to that man. Does it mean I am weak, a doormat? Hell no. I am strong and I believe it takes a strong woman to completely submit herself to a dominant man.
I have not read everything here yet, but I am going to. So, I can respond appropriately.
I am, one of those women who have the NEED to surrender all that I am to a man. It does not mean just sexual, but in every aspect of my life.
shia
LikeLike
December 31, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Why the negative statement, I paraphrase; ‘a prisoner of one’s sexuality’?
Surely the sensual pleasures of one’s sexuality is liberating?
It is only the late Victorian mores as applied to the Western Civilisations that regards sex as ‘something just a little dirty, to be practiced strictly in private and between only those santioned by the mumblings of a representative of some established state recognised religion.’
Sex and sexuality is glorious, it is the driving force behind most of our interactions, whether we like to admit it or not.
Jane describes the upwellings of sensual and deeply sexual feelings she experiences from the dance that she practices. The movements of her hips and breasts and the deliberate seductive flexing of muscles both external and internal are all redolent of the movements of the sex act itself.
It is no coincidence that when a woman is aroused her hips move, tummy undulates and her pelvis flexes; just as Jane’s will as she dances. The belly dance is the dance of Salome, the movements less about giving birth and far more to do with that of mating and conception. So just as arousal causes the movement, the movement will impact on the dancer in a similar way. I would say most especially during practice and those times of meditation that come to us when excercising. The belly dance is a turn on for the dancer as well as the audience. Quelle surprise! (sp.)
The only Natural Order that has any validity here is simply that the act of receiving the phallus into one’s body is arguably more passive and hence submissive, than the act of penetration itself, which is possibly more active and therefore dominant. This analogy breaks down of course, when the female is taking the active role in straddling her partner and controlling the activities. However, I would still argue that it is the fundamental issue behind the ’emotions’ men and women feel and then ‘interpret’ as dominance and submission.
The basic, very basic sensual ecstasy in spreading one’s thighs wide, feeling the tendons in the tops of the leg stretch and one’s sex open to one’s mate is the ultimate in submission. I am not presupposing the sexual position in this, as I believe most coital positions can be referenced in this view. The opposite feeling, that of the male who has the urge to push and penetrate as his goal, is clearly that of control and dominance. I am of course taking this back down to the very simplest issue but I believe it to be valid.
The psychological manifestations that we see played out in the very broad spectrum of human behaviour and the relatively small band of activity that we reference as D/s or BDSM have at their core, these basic issues of femal acceptance and male imposition during the sex act.
Now before there are howls of challenge discussing the rich variety and wide variation of sexual orientation and practice, in defence I am boiling what is an endlessly fascinating and complex topic down to the most basic that I can.
The female is inherrantly submissive in that she has to passively accept into her body the penetrating male who dominates the act by usually being the active partner.
Beyond that, all else is psychology and the unlimited capacity of the human mind to spin webs of fantasy, philosophy and interaction.
In the word of the song Jane, ‘My hips don’t lie!’ More power to yours and your dancing friends who bring joy and erotic pleasure to every man who watches you. So what if you get a little turned on as well?
Happy New Year
My regards
P.
LikeLike
January 3, 2009 at 10:37 am
I will keep this short and sweet albeit a bit crude. Phil, if you’re really going to talk about natural basic primal states of mind or state of being then you know in your heart of hearts if a woman didn’t swish her fanny around you sending off all those lovely pheromones you primal Dominant men would just be off slaughtering some helpless animal to eat. Grinz. Admit it now… in all honesty food and survival is the only primal encoding in any human. It took a woman to come up with procreation. Winks.
LikeLike
January 3, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Hello Joy! I LOVE this…and you are very welcome here!
I agreee…..women keep the men in line..at least the slaughtering down.
LOL! It works here..with my husband. food is probably the ONLY primal encoding in men.
Women?? Ah….we are a bit more evolved…
Thanks, Joy, and it’s great to have you here. You are always welcome, whether you agree or not with what is written here…by me or others.
Lady Nyo
LikeLike