Dance, Weight loss and Husbands….

I have been fortunate  in getting some invitations to dance in different venues.  One in particular will be quite a challenge, and I am holding off  relaying  information because things are not set yet.  However, this will be a great opportunity to dance with my husband.

I have a tall, well built husband (a bit younger…) with long flowing hair! It makes him ‘look good’ on a dance floor, but it’s been more of him in the past 5 years watching me (and the other bellydancers ) than him dancing.

That is about to change.

We are working up a routine.  He actually is excited about it, but of course, as a man, he is very modest about expectations…

At first, I thought of him more as a ‘pole’ to dance around, but then, thought again.  He’s strong, flexible (mostly) and  can be trained.

So! we are taking tango lessons in a few weeks…and he tells me ‘this isn’t necessary”.  Hah!  We are going to do the difficult and violent “Apache Dance”…”Ah poe shay” in French.  Has nothing to do with Native Americans.

It’s a dance that sprang  out of tango at the turn of the 20th century.  It’s basically a lowerclass dance, a dance of the underworld.  It has quite an interesting and colorful history, full of bad characters and women who died because of broken backs and necks.  I am trying to avoid this, hence setting the basis in tango.

I have lost weight in the past months, and when I came home from Montreal just a month ago, I thought this period was over…and weight loss would slow down.  It did for a while, and then picked up.  I think there are probably many reasons a woman loses weight: stress, exhaustion, excitement, love, etc…but I have been talking to some of my students about this and trying to figure out why, now….I would be losing weight.

One of my students is in her mid forties.  She lost 40 lbs. and went to size O.  She looked like a skeleton in my estimation.  She gained back 19 lbs.  She looks great, not a walking bunch of bones.  And belly dance, well, you have to have some curves and something to ‘throw’.  Hips that stick out are painful to look at…and even more painful to sleep on.  She now has regained the status of woman, not concentration camp victim.

In losing about 30 lbs. this fall and winter, I told her that I noticed that people’s behavior, especially men, were different.  I was the same person as I was before losing that weight, why did people treat me differently?

She was emphatic:  No, you are NOT the same person.  You feel differently about yourself, and you look and act differently. This sends a ‘signal’ to others..especially men.  You walk differently (hell, I thought that was just the ‘bellydance walk’ we cultivate…)

She’s right.  My self-confidence has gone up, too. I am approaching   more the weight I want to be…and losing more will be beneficial to doing this particular “Apache Dance”.  You need to be thin enough to be picked up and thrown around, though the point is also to be able to ‘break fall’ without getting hurt.   Properly, it can be done.

Well, I already know I will be spinning on my knees so I intend to wear knee pads under my very high, thigh high boots.  Extra padding will help  in this “Apache”.

We are having fun, my husband and I, contemplating this new partnering.  I didn’t  expect him to be so enthusiastic, but there is a lot of violence and sexy moves in the Apache.  Perhaps it appeals to some “inner Gangster” in him, but we shall see.  The tango lessons are to contain and control, give a basis for the movements, and this can only be a good thing.  We have already been talking “choreography” and have walked through some steps.

The violence and sex comes later.

A good example of “Apache” is below.

Lady Nyo

Tags: , , , , ,

11 Responses to “Dance, Weight loss and Husbands….”

  1. shia1 Says:

    You are doing great! It is wonderful your husband will take dance lessons.

    Good luck to both of you!



  2. jantango Says:

    I hope you take tango lessons instead of learning Apache. It’s an intimate dance that is improvised that you can do with your husband into your senior years. The dancers in their 70s and 80s in Buenos Aires are proof of that.


  3. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Jantango!

    Good to hear from you and thank you for reading the blog.

    Oh, believe you me! We have every intention of taking tango lessons. And, my husband is rather pumped for it. I am amazed.

    I’m a belly dancer, and this is moving into a new and natural field. Tango wil be the basis of this Apache, and it will be…challenging. To say the least.

    Argentinian Tango looks so lovely, and we are watching all the youtube we can before classes are set. It is the basis of Apache, obviously, and we are really interested in what we can do here. It’s amazing to me that after all these years, my husband is ready!

    Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo


  4. ladynyo Says:

    Oops…I forgot to say, that the same thing holds true in Belly Dance.

    Women in their 70’s-80’s are incredible dancers in the Middle East, especially what I have seen of the Lebanese women.

    About a year ago, I was dancing in a restaurent, and an older woman, stooped and looking rather fragile…was sitting at a full table with what looked like relatives….She was encouraged to get up and dance, and she made it to the floor.

    The transformation was amazing as soon as she started to dance! I will never forget it. She had to be in her 80’s. She was marvelous, and there was nothing lost because of age.

    I can well believe it, Jantango, what you say about about the senior dancers in Buenos Aires

    Lady Nyo


  5. Egyptian Belly Dance Costume, and Turkish Belly Dance Costume Says:

    […] Dance, Weight loss and Husbands […]


  6. ladynyo Says:

    These are ‘pingbacks’ what ever that is…but I am allowing them because they have some good information…and sometimes an informational video on dancing….basic exercises to strengthen the core.

    Lady Nyo


  7. Mike Says:

    Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    Making Money $150 An Hour


  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Mike….and thank you for reading….

    It’s sometimes hit and miss for me, but I try to write what I am doing in my life, and sometimes there is a lot of pain there…because what I am doing is painful….in some way.

    And I don’t mean just the muscles used with dancing. It’s life, but hell, at my present age, I think I have nothing to fear…well, I do, exposure will alienate you from some family (has) but also makes a better measure of your friends.

    It is so easy to be ruled by other judgements and can be so damn narrow.

    Life is living, Sex is life, and we find this out usually TOO late.

    Thanks for reading, and come by frequently and post! This blog has become a real Round Table of Friends.

    Lady Nyo


  9. The husband Says:

    So now you see that I’m not the “bump on the log” she makes me out to be. In normal instances the man is the observer of belly dance, not the participant, and rightly so. It was initially a seduction dance to entice the man. This is still true today no matter what the feminist have to say.

    So yes, I am more than happy to finally be able to participate rather than be the casual observer. Hopefully my many years of martial arts training will come in handy and I won’t trip over my two left feet. The steps involved in the Tango are similar to some katas I nave studied. We will see.


  10. ladynyo Says:

    So! He finally surfaces after all these many months…

    Husband is proving to be a commanding and excellent dancer…already last night he ‘lead’ in our experiencing the tango…I think he just wants to knock me around in the Apache, so he’s biding his time until we get to it.

    And he is awful anxious to do this in public…

    Hmmmm…maybe I better reconsider this all..

    Lady Nyo….isn’t anything sacred (meaning: secret from “The Husband”???)


  11. Margie Says:

    What an interesting turn of events! Quite a few years ago I saw a performance of Apache. It was very exciting and I thought, beautiful, though quite raw. I’m sure you will approach this, too, with your usual thoroughness and hopefully, will be a wonderful experience for you both. I haven’t been around lately due to illness, but I’m just fine now and hope to check in often!

    Love ya!


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: