“Seasons Change”, posted for OneShotWednesdays and Potluck poets…

"North Carolina Moutain Stream", janekohut-bartels, watercolor, 2006

SEASONS CHANGE

I took a walk this morning.

The season has changed here

Though where you are they don’t.

The dried, brittle grass beneath my feet

Made a consistent crackle,

Echoed by the gossip of sparrows above.

The leaves are gone now from the birches and maples.

They fell like rain on fallow ground one day

And I didn’t see them go.

I think of your rounded arms when I see the shedding birches,

smooth bark like white skin with a faint pulse

of the river beneath.

Do you remember that river,

where it scared you to stand close to the bank?

You thought the earth would slip inward,

Take you on a wild ride downstream where

I couldn’t retrieve you,

And I saw for an instant

your raised arms to me,

imploring  silently to save you,

though it never happened

and you never slipped down the bank

and I never could save you.

But imagination plays with your mind

when it is all you have left.

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2010

Tags: , ,

70 Responses to ““Seasons Change”, posted for OneShotWednesdays and Potluck poets…”

  1. david king Says:

    Interesting poem which I much enjoyed. The blog, too, is intriguing.

    Like

  2. sillyfrogsusan Says:

    This is an extraordinary poem…loved it!
    The image is gorgeous!

    Like

  3. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Susan.

    The painting rather ‘fit’ the poem…at least the issue of ‘seasons change’.

    Thank you for reading and being kind enough to leave a comment. I much appreciate it.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  4. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, David.

    Glad you enjoyed the poem. It was a rather weird one for me, more introspective than I usually am…lol..

    The blog: well, it’s been around for 2.5 years now, and I really enjoy writing for it, especially in the mornings. It’s gone through a lot of changes over the two years….was a place where I really showed my anger at people and life, but then I wised up. LOL!

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  5. Luke Prater Says:

    very poignant offering. Well written. I could feel that sense of loss and longing, but I especially liked the descriptive passages about Nature.

    Luke @ WordSalad

    (mine are here-
    http://wp.me/pTeVg-cx
    http://wp.me/pTeVg-cP

    Like

  6. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Luke.

    Thank you for reading this poem and leaving a comment.

    Luke, I can remember writing this poem around 3am last year upon suddenly awakening. I have no idea where this came from because I don’t remember any dream and I hadn’t suffered a loss like this…

    But that the charm of poetry, neh? It comes out of nowhere and sometimes strikes fully formed.

    Except when it doesn’t. I have this wonderful beginning to a poem: “In the hollow of winter’s twilight”…and though I have written one poem and attempted a couple more based on that beginning…I am up against a wall right now. Perhaps when winter really strikes, it will come flying out of nowhere?

    After Thanksgiving, I am publishing “White Cranes of Heaven”, fifty seasonal poems probably with lulu.com. They all are based on nature, and a combination of human emotions wrapped up in nature and the seasons. I guess I just don’t know how to write poetry without nature…it’s a powerful and transcendental force we live surrounded with.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  7. fiveloaf Says:

    lovely..

    Like

  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  9. Michael Says:

    beautiful.

    Like

  10. shanellis Says:

    Rich and diverse. Yes seasons change and we mould our memories in those seasons we leave behind. Thanks for posting such a wonderfully crafted work of art

    Like

  11. Kodjo Deynoo Says:

    Very nice, it is refreshing

    Like

  12. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you…am glad you found it so.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  13. ladynyo Says:

    Well, thank you! for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  14. brian Says:

    nice. i esp like the close…the on day in teh second stanza sticks out when i dont know if it should, interupting the flow of thought…very nice one shot though particularly the last few stanzas…

    Like

  15. moondustwriter Says:

    There is a sweet nostalgia and innocence in your poem and the water color is so lovely.

    thanks for your beautiful contributions to One Shot

    moon smiles

    Like

  16. River Says:

    I feel a love and immense sadness. Beautiful 🙂

    Like

  17. Chris G. Says:

    Great poem, with a lovely image accompanying. Always love a good visual component like that – drew me in right from the start. Well written in its descriptiveness; a very vibrant piece throughout.

    Like

  18. ladynyo Says:

    Hello Smiling Moon!

    Thank you for having this site for us wandering and lost poets!

    I have taken, again…the ‘male’ voice in this poem….something I rarely do because usually my poems aren’t gender specific….Though perhaps it’s a uni-sex poem? LOL!

    Thank you for reading, liking the watercolor….and being so kind as to leave a kind comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  19. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Brian. I’ll look at the second stanza again….I tend to be pretty blind about some things in the poems…so I deeply appreciate any critiques….see the poem through other eyes is so important, especially in the beginning, the middle and the ultimate end!

    Thank you again for reading and leaving a comment. I’ll reread the poem in light of what you write here.

    (Ok, I looked at it: “They fell like rain on a fallow ground one day”. Is this the offending part?? I can’t quite figure out what is wrong with it….lol!)

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  20. Gay Cannon Says:

    I felt a depth of feeling and sincerity in the simplicity of your lines; the metaphor of nature which enfolded the sense of loss. Beautifully done.
    Gay @beachanny

    Like

  21. ladynyo Says:

    Ah Geez…coming from you, I am humbled. I love your poetry.

    I have been reading some critique of poetry, mostly from the earlier part of the 20th century, Gay, where there was obscurantism in the verses….and later there was a backlash to this.

    Simplicity of line, word choice I think cuts down on on this. At least, it gets…or can get…to the heart of the matter in your poem. Sometimes that’s important I think. I have a problem with overly long poems…as good as they might be….but that is because the whole escapes my brain, and I am left with just teasers! Probably has something to do with aging.

    Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a kind comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  22. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Chris…since I was first a painter…for years….ever before I thought of poetry, it seems that it’s a natural ‘fit’ at times….IF I can find the paintings! LOL!

    So many readers either don’t see the image….the paintings, or they pass right over them! LOL!…for me….a painting that hopefully illustrates the poem….or story, etc…helps with the ‘memory’ of the poem….

    Thank you, Chris for reading and for leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  23. ladynyo Says:

    Hi River!

    Yep, that is exactly what I feel when I read this poem…he’s talking to a dead lover, (where you are the seasons don’t change…) and it’s still so close to the surface.

    I’m not good at a deeper analysis of my own poems…..I suck that up from other readers (and especially poets) critiques. Perhaps it’s a question of being too close?

    Thank you, River, for reading and leaving this comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  24. Monkey Man Says:

    Season changes can so inspire. Love what you have done on this One Shot.

    Like

  25. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you! and thank you for reading this poem and leaving a comment!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  26. marousia Says:

    You have captured the melancholy quality of autumn so well

    Like

  27. Belinda Says:

    I remember that feeling standing so close to the bank and the thought of a wild ride donwstream. Ecovative words. Great one shot!

    Like

  28. Jingle Says:

    thanks for sharing such an outstanding art/poetry with potluck..

    gossips of sparrows, wow,
    so vivid imagination.
    keep it up.

    xxx

    Like

  29. ladynyo Says:

    Hey Jingle…thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

    Next week…or time…I’ll try to write to the theme!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  30. ladynyo Says:

    Thanks, Belinda…

    Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. that issue of vertigo!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  31. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Marousia…Autumn is melancholy….and a season that I await with anticipation. Summer heat down here in the south is terrible. Autumn is relief.

    Thank you for reading and your comments.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  32. hedgewitch Says:

    I’m amazed this just came to you out of relation to any specific loss–I think that’s what you said above? It’s so full of that mood of pain laced with acceptance…at first I was a bit impatient with it, but when you got to the simile of birch bark peeling back, I was just washed into the mood. I also get my poems out of the thin air sometimes, but seldom with such a real pivotal feeling in them. Really nicely done, no matter where it came from. 😉

    Like

  33. G-Man Says:

    The onset of Winter inspires us all..
    This was Fantastic…Thanks
    Galen

    Like

  34. ladynyo Says:

    Love that name, “Hedgewitch”….you could write poetry on that name all day!

    Yes, it just came out of thin air. However, the loss was there….but not of death…a very ‘wrong’ relationship that should never have happened. But it felt like death and destruction when it blew up.

    I had to think about this, because I think I am still in denial about a very nasty time.

    I’m still looking for any redemption , but I’ll be waiting on that one for a long time. perhaps writing poetry is our redemption? Perhaps the only redemption when we are colossally stupid??

    I forgot all that pain from that particular time. But now that I think of it….It was before ‘The End’ but there was a growing realization that this was all wrong for a shit-load of reasons….morals aside.

    The poem was written early in the morning hours…woke me up …just formed itself on the page…and I am VERY suspicious when those things happen. I don’t really trust them, because I think things..poems…need to be worried over…perhaps tossed into the refining fire.

    When this happens…and perhaps this happens when we are ‘new’ to poetry….it’s exhilarating but also distrustful. Who is in control here?

    I know what you mean about ‘impatient’ with the beginning of this poem….I have felt that about a lot of my poetry…It’s like I have to back into a poem…to set a stage, or something….to be able to form the rest of the poem.

    Nature is a good metaphor for emotions….

    Thank you, Hedgewitch, for your enlightening comment. You made me stretch here…remember things I didn’t want to, but that is part of life and LEARNING!

    LOL!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  35. ladynyo Says:

    Yes, I agree….LOL! perhaps it’s the relief from summer??

    Thank you, Galen, for reading and leaving a kind comment. Much appreciated.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  36. poemblaze Says:

    Great poem, especially the final couplet.

    Like

  37. Mama Zen Says:

    What beautiful writing! I love the way you ended the piece.

    Like

  38. bkmackenzie Says:

    love the imagination playing with you when it is all you have left….it is our best friend…..nice one shot…bkm

    Like

  39. ladynyo Says:

    Thanks, Bk….Perhaps imagination IS our best friend….

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  40. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Mama Zen!

    That sort of surprised me, too. Perhaps I was more than half asleep.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  41. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you!

    I think how a poem ends is very important. It can make or break the poem. Since I write a lot of haiku and tanka especially, it’s like a particular challenge. I am always looking out for the pivot point.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  42. Melissa Says:

    The painting is beautiful! I love the idea of sparrows gossiping. I wonder what they might say?

    Like

  43. Faith Says:

    The second stanza is my favorite. Nice write!

    Like

  44. June_Butterfly Says:

    Season changing is a bittersweet road to memory lane.Love lost,children growing up.Departed loved ones.It seems it all gets connected.But with the loss comes gain.there’s always something to be gained in every experience.

    Love this one.As warm as the person who wrote it.

    Like

  45. patty sherry Says:

    Change, it is the only constant isn’t it. I loved your final words…Imagination plays with the mind when it is all you have left. I’ve often found myself wondering what could be, would be…had certain changes not happened. I really enjoyed reading your poem.

    Like

  46. the_wid0w Says:

    nicely written, i could see the images floating through my mind as i read

    Like

  47. Steven Marty Grant Says:

    Really love this poem, did you consider dropping the last two lines?

    Like

  48. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Steve…..thank you for reading and caring to leave a comment.

    Nope…I didn’t (dropping last two lines), but I will look at it again without them.

    I thought of these lines as a ‘coda’…? something that places the poem in a particular space…

    something like that, but it’s instructive to see other takes on your poetry. That’s how we learn better!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  49. ladynyo Says:

    LOL! Well, Patty, some like the last two lines…some don’t …but I think I’m with you. It wrapped up the sentiment for me….

    Thank you, Patty, for reading and for leaving a comment. Much appreciated!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  50. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you! June Butterfly.

    Yes, it’s all connected…life and life’s progress, neh? And yes, there is always something to be gained in every experience, you just have to live through it, and open your eyes. I think aging helps here.

    Maybe.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  51. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Faith.

    It was such a simple poem, but has become one of my favorites.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  52. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Melissa! That painting was done a few years ago up in the mountains of North Carolina.

    As for the sparrows, they are a noisy bunch!

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  53. Shashi Says:

    Dear Lady Nyo
    What a beautiful way to say
    ‘But imagination plays with your mind
    when it is all you have left.’
    The mind being made up of thoughts, experiences and memories.. and imagination is one thing that it all ties up to.. and when everything else move away to create a blankness, Imagination takes up the challenge and becomes all.. I liked you words so much.. very beautiful and simple….

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

    Like

  54. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Shashi! I think I do agree with you…about the last two lines…and the necessity of them. They give the poem direction or purpose or perhaps just an ending….?

    But sometimes imagination is all we have left of a situation. And perhaps we have made a mash of it all.

    Thank you, Shashi for reading and leaving this rather profound comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  55. Steve Isaak Says:

    Definitely in your niche-groove, again – it works, of course; the end-lines nailed that mofo, without them the poem wouldn’t have worked nearly as well. Excellent, as you often are.

    Like

  56. pete marshall Says:

    a great first posting for one shot…loved the intrigue…the talks of seasons…flowed wonderfully and the image was a great partner to the piece..cheers pete

    Like

  57. ladynyo Says:

    Thanks, Pete…overall, a pretty simple poem…but I really appreciate the reading and comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  58. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Steve….thank you, buddy.

    The end lines …..after looking, reading this poem again without them…I agree…but I think those who have suggested dropping the lines were giving a different slant on this poem.

    But isn’t that the joy of poetry? It can always shape-shift in the eyes, experience and reading of others.

    I have learned not to be so territorial about my poems….sometimes!

    LOL!..

    Thanks, dear friend…for reading and your supportive comment.

    Jane

    Like

  59. Shashi Says:

    Dear Lady Nyo

    Its great to read this once again through the One Shot Wednesday… and enjoyed it. Thanks.
    Check out my poetry for one shot too, which is different than the one for Potluck…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

    Like

  60. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Shashi…I will…later on this morning, when my eyes focus!

    Thank you for reading and your comments, Shashi.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  61. Jingle Says:

    http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/my-sister-lives-too-far-away/

    awards 4 u…

    Happy Wednesday, hope to see you next Monday.
    xxx

    Like

  62. ladynyo Says:

    Yayyyyy! Thank you!

    Hugs!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  63. Desert Rose Says:

    Imagination..ahhh what a beautiful treat we have lady..not even life can take it away from us..so beautiful your poem..the verse tickled my heart..loved every line..thank you!
    hugs..

    Like

  64. ladynyo Says:

    Hello Desert Rose!

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment! Yes, imagination is a gift…something that drives the writing and poetry?

    Hugs back!!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  65. budhaaah Says:

    Wow is all I can say.

    Like

  66. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Budhaaaaaah!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  67. betweenhearts75 Says:

    Incredibly well done, read a slight bit also into replies about how this poem came to be…I’ve had a few “dreams” like this, or some odd emotion pushing toward..in any case this was so very emotional and beautiful, like the comfort of a closeness that slipped away somehow. I sometimes think when this happens it sharing with it a good purpose to touch the heart of another. Amazing work! ~April 🙂

    Like

  68. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, April!

    Some times trauma, distress, dreams are fertile creative grounds. Perhaps this is pretty common, because life gives the possibilities. Human relations ain’t easy, except when they are, and that’s not constant!

    I saw this as a lover talking to a dead partner. But yesterday, a woman very close to me thought I was talking about my son….who is in the Navy. I wasn’t but here again is the beauty of poetry: it is and can be viewed, claimed in different ways by different readers.

    You are right: the ‘comfort of a closeness that has slipped away.” Either through death or through the vagrancy of life.

    Thank you, April, for reading and leaving such a comment. Much appreciated.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  69. industrialarts Says:

    nice piece. works on many different levels. allows different readers to get a different message. good job!

    Like

  70. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you!

    This issue of ‘different levels’ is an interesting one. I think there is naturally a technique to obtain this…it can be a conscious act as you form the poem….however, I also think that a careful word choice can lead you to the same thing.

    Thank you for reading and leaving this comment. Much appreciated.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

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