“First Snow”, posted for OneShotPoetry

Winter Scene, from the bbc.files

CHECK OUT STEVE ISAAK’S  MICROSTORY SITE, JUST UP TODAY!

HE’S RUNNING THE METAMORPHOSIS SERIES, I-VI THROUGH JANUARY 20, 2011.  HUMOR WITH BATS….

http://microstoryaweek.blogspot.com/

Also check out Steve’s weblog:  readingbypublight.blogspot.com

Lady Nyo

“FIRST SNOW”

The morning brought a first snow,

Blown by the wind over the mountain.

I watched snow turn to ice,

Invisible sleet hit the panes a’ hissin’,

And soon a crystal coat on tender branches—

Invisible hands pulling to earth,

Icy fingers anchoring them fast.

I depend upon the silence

Creating a space to remember,

Solitude, too, now to be shared

Only with ghosts,

Or perhaps a cat or two.

Inside the comfort of crackling  wood,

Well seasoned of last year’s split,

The sweet, sharp tang of pine and oak,

The groan of a log shifting its failing weight.

I remember your boot kicking it back off the hearth,

Sparks flaring upward,

Stars enfolded by a blazing sun.

Outside the pelting sting on windows,

The howl of winter racing round eaves

Looking for attic-access between clapboards,

A hambone- skeleton dance to

Shake its palsied bones warm.

Soon  fading light at twilight

Suspends the day

In a cocoon of white, unfocused mystery.

The night brings a muffled benediction

Over the land

And memory is put aside for the morrow.

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2010

“First Snow” , from “White Cranes of Heaven”, to be published by Lulu.com soon.

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34 Responses to ““First Snow”, posted for OneShotPoetry”

  1. thedreamwords Says:

    I like this. Good job.

    Like

  2. ladynyo Says:

    LOL! That was fast! I just posted it. You must be up early.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I like it, too.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  3. moondustwriter Says:

    I Feel the solitude – the lonely howl from outdoors and sigh indoors
    poignant piece my friend and beautiful shot

    thanks for sharing with One Shot

    moon smiles

    Like

  4. hedgewitch Says:

    Excellent moody piece, full of the season’s broodiness and sense of time flown by too fast… “I depend upon the silence/Creating a space to remember…” the fire, the kick of the boot and shower of sparks in the mind’s eye–all very evocative and finely drawn. Really liked it.

    And thanks so much for your always very kind words and appreciation at my place

    Like

  5. ladynyo Says:

    I like that! “full of the season’s broodiness, etc”…

    Well, Joy, we poets have to stick together…a very harsh world out there.

    And thank you for your kind words and reading. You are a complex (and I mean that in the best sense…) and comtemplative poet. Every time I read you, I am not disappointed. Never a misstep with you.

    Lady Nyo.

    Like

  6. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Moon.

    It’s really such a simple poem. But it’s readers like you who give it dimension I have missed.

    Thank you for reading and leaving such a comment. Much appreciated.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  7. Laura Hegfield Says:

    Exquisite…truly…you had me at “Invisible hands pulling to earth,

    Icy fingers anchoring them fast.”

    Like

  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Laura.

    What is funny is I was changing the wording of this poem after I posted it. LOL!

    I think that’s legitimate in poetry…..

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, Laura.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  9. poemblaze Says:

    Vivid imagery throughout!

    Like

  10. gospelwriter Says:

    Ice storms can be so beautiful if one doesn’t have to be out in them… I found this poem beautiful in the reading, silently and out loud – loved the “muffled benediction” in the final lines

    Like

  11. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you. You hit on something that is very important in poetry: reading a poem aloud. It can make or break a poem, I think…the rhythm is so important, the cadence, the flow. I think that can only really be discerned by reading it out aloud. Something I don’t do enough.

    that ‘muffled benediction’ surprised me…LOL!

    Thank you so much for reading and leaving this comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  12. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you. I struggle with imagery, I think this was rather subdued, especially in the middle of the poem. Which is ok.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  13. June_Butterfly Says:

    It still amazes me how so much imagery can be put into words.With every poet I read ,I learn.

    Your words seem to flow so naturally.I love that in your works.

    *Soon fading light at twilight
    Suspends the day
    In a cocoon of white, unfocused mystery.
    The night brings a muffled benediction
    Over the land*Love This!

    And memory is put aside for the morrow.

    Like

  14. marousia Says:

    Beautifully crafted, you engaged all my senses. I think there is a lovely understated quality here. I loved this stanza in particular:

    I depend upon the silence

    Creating a space to remember,

    Solitude, too, now to be shared

    Only with ghosts,

    Or perhaps a cat or two.

    Like

  15. ladynyo Says:

    Hey Marousia!

    Understated? Yes, I guess so. Some poems call for shouting LOL! some poems for understatement.

    In reading other poets, I am amazed at the different ways words are cobbled….sentiments are employed. I think we all have different ‘voices’ in our poetry…sometimes strident, sometimes quiet, contemplative.

    Perhaps the subject we are writing about dictates the voice? The approach?

    Thank you, Marousia, for reading and for leaving a comment. I am still learning, just at the beginning of this venture.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  16. ladynyo Says:

    Hi June…

    Thank you for reading and leaving such a kind comment.

    As for words flowing so naturally, sometimes they do….sometimes they don’t. LOL!…I think perhaps suspending expectations, preconceived ideas about how to start or approach a poem, and just letting the subject matter overwhelm you….sometimes does the trick. If there IS a trick….LOL!

    I write about hyperarousal trance a lot…because I experience it in belly dance, and have for the past few years. I think it becomes something of a habit…to just flow into the subject, moment, whatever ….and things jell without much conscious effort. Perhaps it’s learning to trust oneself and experience?

    But other times, as we all know…we wrestle with the lines, thoughts, phrasing, and perhaps that refines our poetry? I don’t know yet, I’m still learning this craft, and it really IS a craft.

    Thank you, June, again for reading and your insightful comment. I learn from just about every poet I read, too.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  17. Belinda Says:

    I get a quiet, peaceful and contented feeling from reading this. Love the cold-outside, warm-inside juxtaposition. Always great to read your lovely work.

    Like

  18. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Belinda.

    I don’t think I am ever aware of the juxtaposition of my poetry…this cold-outside/warm inside…but I see what you mean now.

    Perhaps it’s these ‘happy accidents’ in the nature of poetry that just…happens. Perhaps when I am more conscious of these things I can rely on and manipulate them to better effect.

    Thank you, Belinda, for reading and for your insightful comment. I learn so much from the views of other poets. This is, I believe, the best poetry education.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  19. SenderUpWords Says:

    This is wonderfully beautiful. Mind you everything you write is quite spectacular. Love and Light, Sender.

    Like

  20. ladynyo Says:

    Ah Shucks! I keep the dogs in the back room. LOL!

    Thank you, but I have a long way to go….wait! someone famous said that! LOL!

    Thank you for reading and leaving such a kind comment.

    Lady Nyo…up since 3am trying to reform a dog or two….

    Like

  21. Emmanuel Ibok Says:

    Wonderful!

    Cheers!

    Like

  22. ladynyo Says:

    thank you!

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  23. Claudia Says:

    you captured the magis of a year’s first snow very well with your words…we had it three weeks ago and i was singing a children snow song all day long…even recorded it and posted on facebook – this was the mood this snow magic brought me into…smiles

    Like

  24. ladynyo Says:

    I love the snow….but of course, being in Atlanta….we don’t get much…or rarely. However, the past few years it has snowed…up to 6 inches. Of course, it shuts down the city! I remember years ago Atlanta had ONE snow plow….LOL!

    They must have gotten a good discount on snowplows because they have at least 10 now. Mostly unused.

    The weather has changed, though. Over the past few years, it’s gotten much colder in the winter. Last year we had two weeks of 14 degrees during the DAY. That was unheard of. Of course, summer was the hottest on record. So, for some reason we have these two extremes.

    I’m originally a Northern girl. I miss the 3 feet snowfalls of New Jersey countryside. So much of my poetry comes from these memories….and wishful thinking!

    I’ll check out your recording on facebook if you send me that addy.

    Thank you for reading and stopping by, Claudia.

    Lady Nyo…praying for snow~!

    Like

  25. Monkey Man Says:

    There is a peaceful solitude in snowfall that you captured well here.

    Like

  26. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you. I love the snow, except when it’s -37 degrees…

    I think snow and winter transforms a landscape you thought you knew well. I do know my southern neighborhood looks like a Japanese village when the snow covers the wires, the trees, everything. It’s strange, alien and peaceful.

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  27. Steve Isaak Says:

    Nature-solid imagery and the usual build-up of meaning/intensity. Good work. 🙂

    Like

  28. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Steve!

    I have to carefully read your crits because they are analytical…LOL! Every word means something!

    I appreciate that because I don’t have that ability to crit in such a way.

    Thanks for reading and leaving this comment. Much appreciated, friend.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  29. Kavita Says:

    There is something about that first snow… it brings some distant memories along with it..doesn’t it? Jeeeezz…
    I like how you’ve laid out this lonely picture here… it somehow went very well the iciness of the season..
    And despite it all, I love Winter, and I looooooooove snow! 🙂

    Lovely One Shot, Nyo.. Kudos!

    Like

  30. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Thank you!

    I’m right there with you. I love snow and I love Winter.

    Snow brings distant memories to the surface….especially, as you have noted…that first snow of the season. Childhood memories mostly….ah.

    You observed something that I hadn’t in this poem: the loneliness of it. I think the sparseness of words, or perhaps simplicity…makes it more bare bones.

    Thank you so much for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  31. Liras Says:

    Pretty picture, lovely words.

    Like

  32. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Liras,
    for reading the poem and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  33. Ellen Says:

    Beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing! I could feel the beauty n’ the pain of Winter’s embrace~

    Like

  34. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Ellen….

    You got that right…the pain of Winter’s embrace…we are expecting 14 degrees in the south by Tuesday morn. Yikes!!

    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

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