“Cosmos Cinquains”

 Cover painting for "Pitcher of Moon"

 

 

The above painting is one I did for the cover of a new poetry book “Pitcher of Moon” to be published…soon.  Hopefully.

I can’t remember if this was a ‘challenge’ from an old poetry group or what. But I do know that we were given a string of words to work into cinquains.  I liked the idea of a story made up of cinquains, and this was one of my early efforts.

Cinquains are an interesting poetry form. They aren’t very old, and really not too popular now. But they proceed from syllables and build on these until they reflect the beginning number of syllables.  They proved harder than they looked.

Lady Nyo

COSMOS CINQUAINS

 

Universe-

Infinite space!

Distance to distance

Overwhelming all the senses

Forever.

Virgo

Chained sweet maiden

Like Andromeda  there

Infinite patience is her fate

Virgin.

Orion

Hunter’s stealth

Steals earth’s orbit

Canis Major barking loudly

Sirius.

Aries

Orion’s ram

Joins the hunter gladly

Orbits across the nighttime sky

Pursues!

Emptiness!

Vast galaxies!

Filled with stars

Still distance looms unending

Void.

Hunter

Orion’s quest

Emotion burning fire!

Chases Virgo through the Heavens

Captures!

Gravity

Heaviness bounded

Pulls both downwards

Sagittarius the Archer wounds

Falling.

Embrace

Luminous skin

Orion unsheathes cock

Virgo bleeds upon Hunter’s sword

Conquered.

Exploding

Supernova upward

Orion’s pleasure expanded

Virgo wilts, hymen pierced

Violated.

Black Hole

Emotion’s fire

Pleasure burned out quickly

Hurling Virgo into vastness

Disdained!

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2008-2013

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28 Responses to ““Cosmos Cinquains””

  1. claudia Says:

    oh wow jane… you brought the space with all its mysteries and magic alive in this… very cool painting as well..

    Like

  2. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Claudia!

    Well, cinquains were a passing fancy of mine about 4=5 years ago….LOL! I forgot that they actually were harder than they looked.

    Thank you so much. I was so touched by your own poem today. My soul desperately needed to read that. I would love to see your paintings, too.

    Funny how poetry leads to painting and painting leads back to poetry.

    Hugs,
    Jane

    Like

  3. brian miller Says:

    nice…the heavens have always captured my imagination and the story that they tell as well…or the stories we have given them in their clustering…ha. i like the intimacy you give them as well…a well timed supernova there…smiles.

    Like

  4. ladynyo Says:

    Thanks, Brother Brian!

    Jane

    Like

  5. Morgan Says:

    Truly wondrous and lovely….just like the beautiful cosmos 😉 Nicely done!

    Like

  6. Nara Malone Says:

    Amazing story you’ve woven from stars. 🙂

    Like

  7. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Nara. I’ve just got home from a flamenco class where I still suck and it’s late, so I’ll be around to read tomorrow.

    Thank you again for reading and your comment.

    Jane

    Like

  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Morgan.

    It’s late here, and I’ll be around to read your blog tomorrow.

    Thank you!

    Jane

    Like

  9. Dorianna (paintswithwords) Says:

    Loved the story you told of the cosmos..beautifully woven. A new form, I had not heard of before..may have been difficult, but the finished product flowed nicely

    Like

  10. ayala Says:

    Beautiful and good to read your words again, Jane.

    Like

  11. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Ayala!

    Good to hear from you. Been a while. Cinquains were something I did when I first thought of poetry, and now? well, they are harder than they look. LOL!

    So glad you liked these….and I’ll be around today after the damn dentist!

    Hugs,
    Janed

    Like

  12. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Dorianna! Thank you for reading and your lovely comment. Actually, cinquains isn’t THAT new or old…lol! I think around the turn of the 20th century?

    When I first thought of poetry, I tried the form, and did a lot of them, and then dropped them. LOL! But they are a illegitimate poetry form and you don’t see them anymore…or at least I don’t.

    Why don’t you try a few? I think it sharpens skills…

    Hugs, Jane and will be around after the dentist.

    Like

  13. Caliban's Sister Says:

    Oh wow. This painting radiates depth, mystery, rippling lushness. Really magnificent image for a book cover, especially entitled Pitcher of Moon. Breathtaking. I could feel my pupils dilating as I looked at it. love CS

    Like

  14. Gay Says:

    Dear Jane – I admire this poem very much. We seem to be on a similar wavelength. I’ve been looking at space sites and considering the universe as well. I wanted to write a carousel from the point of view of living forever. Didn’t get it written, at least not yet. This pleases me very much!

    Like

  15. ladynyo Says:

    Dear Gay!, oh, you will. You are one of the most prolific and deep poets I know.

    And yes, we seem to be on a similar wavelength. LOL!…especially after our late night conversations this week.

    Hugs.
    Jane

    Like

  16. ladynyo Says:

    Hi CS….I am so glad you saw this small painting…not bigger than 8×5, trying to paint in smaller dimensions now.

    WEll, I figured for something called Pitcher of Moon, there had to be a moon somewhere in it. LOL!

    Thank you, sweetie…

    Love, Jane

    Like

  17. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Morgan…thank you for reading and your lovely comment. yes, the cosmos, though we don’t understand much about it really, is beautiful. The cradle of life.

    hugs,
    Jane

    Like

  18. Laura Hegfield Says:

    Absolutely wonderful Jane!

    Like

  19. ladynyo Says:

    Laura Dear….I tried to get to your blog today but for some reason, WordPress wouldn’t allow me in. Tomorrow I will attempt again.

    How is the quilt going? I think of you (and Gay!) frequently and love you both.

    My deepest gratitude to you for what you do and what you mean.

    Love,
    Jane

    Like

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