Two poems….. some fall tanka and haiku.

crescent-moon

 

1.

Winter’s pale afternoon

Creeps into night like skim milk

Poured from one china bowl to another.

The thin crescent moon appears,

A broken cup of feeble light that

Spills upon the ground

Too watery to brighten the road.

 

2.

 

The garden spiders,

Black and yellow, such

Fierce looking bugs,

Because they are

Cannibals,

Hang out on the bushes

Trap moths and flies

Entrap unaware walkers

Entangled in their steely webs.

 

A few tanka….

1.

When Autumn enters

Inexplicable sadness.

Season fades to death.

Hunter’s moon sits in Heaven–

Garden spiders finish, die.

 

2.

Autumn wind startles–

Lowered to an ominous

Key—Ah! Mournful sounds!

The fat mountain deer listen-

Add  bellowing sorrow.

 

3.–

Out with the gold fish,

The bullfrogs croak their sorrow.

Summer is passing

Autumn brings sharp, brittle winds

 Winter  cuts to the bone.

 

4.

Like the lithe bowing

Of a red maple sapling

My heart turns to you,

Yearns for those nights long ago

When pale skin challenged the moon.

 

5.

In this single branch

Of a wintry holly,

A hundred words hide

A thousand blushes appear.

Do not overlook the thorns.

A few haiku….

1.

Fall’s crispness compels

Apples to tumble from trees.

Worms make the journey.

 

2.

 

A pale crescent moon

The sky colored lavender

Nothing more to wish.

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2016

 

And the usual warning:

From Jingle Nozelar Yan (JP at Olive Grove ):

“when you post on word press or blogger, you do not have to pay or ask permission in person. which is what we count for.”

Every poet and poetry group I frequent would find that surprising.  There are Copyright Laws in the US,  Jingle. Even in China. But bless your little  heart. (You might have to be Southern to understand that “Bless-heart” thing.)

Please  don’t read my work on her site. If you care about literature, you will go to the original source and bypass Jingle Bells.

 

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31 Responses to “Two poems….. some fall tanka and haiku.”

  1. Sherry Marr Says:

    I especially like that image of pouring milk from one bowl to another.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Sherry. That was a very early one. I like it, too. Thank you again for reading and your kind comment.

    Like

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Says:

    What an impressive collection of images… the garden spiders being magnified to nightmarish proportions contrasting with the memories of moonlit paleness in that tanka… I could not refrain from trying to thread the poems together into a story almost.

    Like

  4. ladynyo Says:

    LOL! You are welcome to do it, Bjorn. Actually, I have written a few tankas linked together about a flood.
    I’m finding a lot to criticize in the tankas. Some times study ruins if for you. Because of what I have learned, they are more freeverse than formal tanka, but I guess freeverse is more fun. Thank you, Bjorn, for your very kind comment. I’ll be over after dinner. Burning it right now. Jane

    Like

  5. kim881 Says:

    You’ve been busy, Jane! I love the milk in the bowls and the spiders! Favourite haiku:
    ‘A pale crescent moon
    The sky colored lavender
    Nothing more to wish.’
    Lavender s good for sleeping and I’m about to go to bed, so this is my bedtime haiku!

    Like

  6. scotthastiepoet Says:

    All very rich Jane and often delightful to read… Something of a treat for me and my favourite read of the night so far… Thank you.. With Best Wishes Scott

    Like

  7. Mish Says:

    What a wonderful cornucopia of poetry. I love the fourth and fifth Tanka and the 2nd haiku….if I had to pick! Thanks for joining in. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you for having me! And for reading and commenting. I’ll complete the rounds tomorrow when my eyes are fresh.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Scott. That’s high praise indeed. I’m be doing rounds tomorrow morn. Best wishes back!

    Like

  10. ladynyo Says:

    Ahhh! I love lavender…have one 6 year old plant,but they sure don’t like being transplanted. They always die on me.
    Yes, the first poem is my favorite and the haiku also my favorite I think the haiku is a ‘real’ haiku….LOL! So many of mine are just….freeverse. Thank you, Kim. I’ve be doing the rounds tomorrow morn. Catch you then.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jellybean disco Says:

    I love the first poem and the last.

    This is my very favorite line: “Creeps into night like skim milk” … Absolutely stunning work, Jane.

    Like

  12. kim881 Says:

    See you then!

    Like

  13. paulscribbles Says:

    wonderful collection…loved the autumnal tanka…very expressive.

    Like

  14. maria Says:

    Splendid collection of poems, Jane. Each presents wonderful imagery as we read.

    Like

  15. Sanaa Rizvi Says:

    I absolutely love these ❤️ each is just so beautiful all on its own! This one is my favourite 🙂

    Like the lithe bowing
    Of a red maple sapling
    My heart turns to you,
    Yearns for those nights long ago
    When pale skin challenged the moon.

    Beautifully penned (as always) ❤️

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    Liked by 1 person

  16. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Sanaa….I like that one, too.

    Like

  17. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Maria.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Scribbles…

    Liked by 1 person

  19. ladynyo Says:

    coming over this morning soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Jellybean. Those are my favorite, too. be over soon.

    Like

  21. Grace Says:

    A lovely collection Jane ~ Thanks for sharing it ~

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Glenn Buttkus Says:

    What a joy to stumble onto this potpourri of haiku, tanka, & free verse. I’m not familiar with the “Jingle” incident, but one hopes you emerged successful. I like the line /do not overlook the thorns/–damn good advice. Never be like those /dogs afraid to howl/.

    Like

  23. ladynyo Says:

    Oh, Thank you, Glenn…that is so nice of you! I love tanka and all Japanese forms, but of course generally our basis is in free verse….and it’s a good medium. Oh, Jingle…LOL! It’s ongoing….Google/Blogger is taking my complaint about her piracy seriously…as they should. She’s a Chinese national, and though China has Copyright Infringement Laws, they are hard to enforce (given the huge land mass) and generally Chinese ignore these and other laws…LOL! So, Jingle is just doing what she knows she can get away with. In China, hopefully not here. Not at all like the Japanese who regard their countries laws with a serious eye. It bites hard that Jingle is so arrogant. But if one looks at her different ‘poetry’ sites….there is little poetry there, but a hell of a lot of ads….someone told me she’s going for the ad revenue. She must have revenue coming in from every Chinese restaurant in the states! LOL!
    Then stop using the name poetry in your sites. Just call it: “Give me the money!” site. LOL!
    Thank you, Glenn. Those who are afraid of the people like Jingle will not avoid her necrotic eye for long. IF I win my case, she will look further afield. I may be a dog, but I’m not afraid to howl. LOL! Thank you so much for reading and your comment. I’m going to post an essay on “The Passion of Japanese Poetry” next…I love reading other’s verse, but my eyes go fast. So glad to finally meet you.

    Like

  24. ladynyo Says:

    Grace! Thank you so much. I tried and tried three different ‘positions’ to post a comment on your blog about your lovely verse this morning…so since I am still having such difficulty, I am going to post my comments here on MY blog about your poems. So, check back each time here for my critical eye! LOL!. And also, I was so impressed with your lovely diplomacy the other day about “Punishment”. You were so kind. Thank you.

    Like

  25. kanzensakura Says:

    Lovely grouping of poetry. I like #5 of your tanka the best! What a joy to read, although like you said, more like free verse than formal tanka but oh! so much fun to write and read.

    Like

  26. ladynyo Says:

    yeah, I agree. These are all pretty early stuff, before I learned more. They can pass in a way….when the pivot line ends and begins the bottom poem….but it’s iffy. LOL! I have an essay “Short Course on the History of Tanka and Classical Examples” that I wrote for One Stop Poetry 4 years ago, and it’s more a ‘how to’ form tanka. I think tanka has more room for deviations than haiku, but probably not. Thank you, Toni for reading and your insightful comment! Can’t get by anything with you and glad of it!

    Like

  27. ladynyo Says:

    Plus, it IS fun to write tanka, whether it’s formally encased and proper, or just…ahhhhh. free verse. LOL!

    Like

  28. kanzensakura Says:

    I did several postings on the “do’s and don’ts” of tanka and haiku on dVerse for those prompts. One reason I always say “nature based haiku” to hope fully avoid the terrible 5-7-5 horrors out there. Tanka really isn’t my main raison d’ etre (sp) but haiku is. Now that, I will wax vehement upon!

    Like

  29. ladynyo Says:

    Good for you! I have a lot of nasty things to say about haiku writers. LOL! This “all I ever learned about haiku I learned from the internet” makes me scream. LOL! I am the opposite. I think haiku is much more difficult than tanka. I think it’s because again, we as westerners don’t have a real sense of the metaphysical as do the Japanese….it’s all bound up (forgive the pun) in the aesthetics. I did it too….for a couple of years. I held onto the 5-7-5 form. But that isn’t the major issue with haiku (or tanka) It all comes back to aesthetics as you know. Thank you, Toni.

    Like

  30. ladynyo Says:

    Some times I have just fallen to free verse with tanka because it’s such an internal struggle for me. I’m more in the ‘middle passage’ of my learning. I am so grateful for those people and groups like the Anglo-Japanese Tanka Society in Kent, UK who have accepted my verse and given me a page. I think I can do better now, but it’s still iffy. Hope you are doing well.

    Like

  31. maria Says:

    Always a pleasure 😁

    Liked by 1 person

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