“Gauzy Ghosts”……


Frank Hubeny, over at dversepoets.com is hosting right now and challenges us to write short verse.  Maybe tanka, maybe other forms…but brevity is the key.

Lady Nyo

The moon floats on wisps
Of clouds extending outward
Tendrils of white fire
Blanketing the universe
Gauzy ghosts of nothingness.

A companion piece written the same time….

Shooting star crosses
Upended bowl of deep night
Fires with excited gaze-
A moment– and all is gone.


Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2018

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32 Responses to ““Gauzy Ghosts”……”

  1. Arcadia Maria Says:

    “The moon floats on wisps of clouds” – lovely imagery. Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kanzensakura Says:

    This is so lovely. And it was so cool seeing your treatise on Tanka linked in Frank’s post. I said to myseld, I know her!! Any poems of any kind about the moon always gets to me. But this is masterful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Frank J. Tassone Says:

    Lovely, Jane. As usual! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Frank Hubeny Says:

    The white fire in the third line seems like the pivot from wisps of clouds to gauzy ghosts blanketing everything. I also liked the “nothingness” at the end. Up close those clouds might well look like nothing at all. And yet they’re there.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ladynyo Says:

    I am never very sure of the pivot line…sometimes it’s clear, and other times, it’s not. It takes a lot of study to get surer about these things, and frankly, we can become dogmatic in the doing. thanks Frank.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Frank. It’s rather an early one and I wasn’t so sure about the form. Sometimes, you have to let go of the formal stuff and just write from somewhere else. I know you understand this.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. ladynyo Says:

    That is so kind of you, Toni. I have gone through a boat load of moon poems and this was one of my favorite. There is a companion piece to this one that I will post later…’thank you, Toni. I was surprised to see that essay linked to Frank’s post. Quite a thrill.


  8. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you so much. I violated a lot about tanka form but sometimes you just have to go for something else that stirs your imagination.


  9. paul scribbles Says:

    So delicate. A poem made of lace.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Frank J. Tassone Says:

    Indeed, Jane, I do. Haikai is more than syllable counts. It’s epiphanies in the moment encapsulated in images. Your Tanka does this beautifully!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Frank Hubeny Says:

    It is best not to be dogmatic. Just being aware that that third line holds potential may be enough. Sometimes as a reader I may just imagine it is there.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ladynyo Says:

    I think that is the best answer possible, Frank!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Frank. These forms are endlessly fascinating. I think one could spend their lives in the reading and study of such forms and never come up for air!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. ladynyo Says:

    Oh! I like that! Thank you, Paul.


  15. Frank J. Tassone Says:

    Indeed! I certainly haven’t yet! LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. georgeplace2013 Says:

    “Gauzy ghosts of nothingness.” Love

    Liked by 1 person

  17. ladynyo Says:

    Thanks, georgegeorge!


  18. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Says:

    I see the clouds as that wall between us and nothingness…. maybe they are there to protect, maybe they are the shroud we crave

    Liked by 1 person

  19. ladynyo Says:

    Oh! I do like ‘the shroud we crave.’ Good supposition, Bjorn. I think we do crave a shroud in numerous fashions. for the possibility of privacy and security. Nothingness seems very vast and far. And without dimensions, too vast. We are just specks in the universe and perhaps we need protection.


  20. Waltermarks Says:

    They are both incredible. I like,”Upended bowl of deep night
    Imagination!” I imagine the moon emptying into night

    Liked by 1 person

  21. ladynyo Says:

    Hello Waltermarks! Good to read you! I have missed you. and I like your ” I imagine the moon emptying into night,’ Very poetic! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Waltermarks Says:

    Thank you for the poetry

    Liked by 1 person

  23. ladynyo Says:

    What a lovely thing to say….and thank you back.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Waltermarks Says:


    Liked by 1 person

  25. memadtwo Says:

    I especially like the wispy moon. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  26. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you. Me, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Rosemary Nissen-Wade Says:

    What lovely images!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Rosemary!


  29. Mish Says:

    I can’t pick a favourite, nor should I but I do love the clouds as “gauzy ghosts of nothingness”.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. ladynyo Says:

    Hi Mish…me, too. that phrase slides easily in the mouth. The next posting is “Metamorphosis”….seems like a horror story, starts out as one and then the farce begins! A lot more fun to write.


  31. kanzensakura Says:

    Yes it was. Frank knows good stuff when he sees it.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. ladynyo Says:

    Franks a bit new to tanka, as he says, but he has a natural instinct towards it. None of us have your years of experience, though.


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