Posts Tagged ‘penetration’

“Slave Fire” continued….

December 31, 2008

Oh! This is toooo good to bury in the comments. From Phil in Wales, who raises some very interesting things here.

Lady Nyo, but Teela when she dances…

Why the negative statement, I paraphrase; ‘a prisoner of one’s sexuality’?

(was it That negative?  I think of the word ‘prisoner’ and the quote should have been ‘helpless prisoner’ to express what I was feeling when I wrote this last night….the word prisoner is more to affect a feeling of tightly bound up, or without choice…which I think we are about our basic sexuality….)

Surely the sensual pleasures of one’s sexuality is liberating?

(Yes, Phil…and I spent a long time last year trying to argue that bellydancing was only a gender thing for women, that it was birth movements, it was not a dance of seduction…(hah!) and this to a Dom who had his own ideas about the issue.  I, of course, lost the argument and should have.  I was being stupid on purpose.)

It is only the late Victorian mores as applied to the Western Civilisations that regards sex as ‘something just a little dirty, to be practiced strictly in private and between only those santioned by the mumblings of a representative of some established state recognised religion.’

Sex and sexuality is glorious, it is the driving force behind most of our interactions, whether we like to admit it or not.

Jane describes the upwellings of sensual and deeply sexual feelings she experiences from the dance that she practices. The movements of her hips and breasts and the deliberate seductive flexing of muscles both external and internal are all redolent of the movements of the sex act itself.

(you got that right….hmmmmm)
It is no coincidence that when a woman is aroused her hips move, tummy undulates and her pelvis flexes; just as Jane’s will as she dances. The belly dance is the dance of Salome, the movements less about giving birth and far more to do with that of mating and conception. So just as arousal causes the movement, the movement will impact on the dancer in a similar way. I would say most especially during practice and those times of meditation that come to us when excercising. The belly dance is a turn on for the dancer as well as the audience. Quelle surprise! (sp.)

The only Natural Order that has any validity here is simply that the act of receiving the phallus into one’s body is arguably more passive and hence submissive, (oh Phil…I don’t know about THAT) than the act of penetration itself, which is possibly more active and therefore dominant. This analogy breaks down of course, when the female is taking the active role in straddling her partner and controlling the activities. However, I would still argue that it is the fundamental issue behind the ’emotions’ men and women feel and then ‘interpret’ as dominance and submission.

The basic, very basic sensual ecstasy in spreading one’s thighs wide, feeling the tendons in the tops of the leg stretch and one’s sex open to one’s mate is the ultimate in submission. I am not presupposing the sexual position in this, as I believe most coital positions can be referenced in this view. The opposite feeling, that of the male who has the urge to push and penetrate as his goal, is clearly that of control and dominance. I am of course taking this back down to the very simplest issue but I believe it to be valid.

(I think about now I need a cold shower..thanks, Phil.)

The psychological manifestations that we see played out in the very broad spectrum of human behaviour and the relatively small band of activity that we reference as D/s or BDSM have at their core, these basic issues of femal acceptance and male imposition during the sex act.

Now before there are howls of challenge discussing the rich variety and wide variation of sexual orientation and practice, in defence I am boiling what is an endlessly fascinating and complex topic down to the most basic that I can.

The female is inherrantly submissive in that she has to passively accept into her body the penetrating male who dominates the act by usually being the active partner.

Beyond that, all else is psychology and the unlimited capacity of the human mind to spin webs of fantasy, philosophy and interaction.

In the word of the song Jane, ‘My hips don’t lie!’  More power to yours and your dancing friends who bring joy and erotic pleasure to every man who watches you. So what if you get a little turned on as well?

(yep…you have convinced me that I am very ‘normal’.  LOL!)

Happy New Year

My regards


And my regards to you as well, Phil.

Lady Nyo…but in this case…Teela

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