Posts Tagged ‘sadomasochism’

“The Diaries”…continuing… these are ‘flashers’, 200 word stories…

October 14, 2008

WARNING: THESE are NOT Flashers….a whole lot of fish here (mackerals)

These flashers ‘tell’ an ongoing story about a woman caught in Paris when the Germans invaded France in the summer of 1940. She is involved in a sadomasochist relationship with “MN” who is a Frenchman.

Lady Nyo


Diary: June 21, 1940

MN is back. I was at S.’s and he just appeared! It’s been a week and of course I had questions, but S. warned me. Don’t ask him anything.

MN seemed tired, his face thinner, paler. But looking at him, my own gut clenching, there is little difference. Still that same full mouth, that smile which touched on a cynicism with all life, those eyes so expressive, or maybe I am so much in thrall with his power I can’t see the truth: he is just a man.

No, he is more. He is much more, now. And he knows it. There was almost an invisible thread that connected us across the room. All propriety with S. there, but when she answered the phone across the room, MN turned to me, his hand across his mouth, hiding his smile. Only his eyes danced over his hand, and it was enough for me to feel this flush of lust.

S. announced a Lieutenant Wolauf was to visit.

MN left too soon. Only a kiss on the cheek and a whispered “a demain, a demain” and he was gone.

Two cold words to warm me.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2008

Diary of a Changeling

Diary: June 24th, 1940 (#5)

The division of France is done, and no one is happy except the Germans and Marshal Petain. S. is puffing her stinky Gauloises, nervous. I can’t stand to be around her.

Petrol is scarce, but MN took me in S’s car out to the countryside. He has use of a farmhouse and this was new for us.

The house is old, with beamed ceilings and a stone sink in the kitchen. We ate bread,. stinky cheese and a bottle of wine.

Upstairs in the bedroom, MN said we shouldn’t ‘waste’ the beams and tied me with ropes he brought.

Perhaps it was the wine, or perhaps I am ‘getting tougher’ but he gave me more lashes than usual. I didn’t want to stop, but he was still careful.

This pain gets my attention fast, radiating outward and inward at the same time. MN stuck his hand in my crack and rubbed, cooing in my ear, whispering French nothings, soothing my tears with his breath.

We made love for the first time, MN slowly touching my body from my feet to my neck with his tongue and hands.

Why am I doing this? Because I must.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2008

Diary of a Changeling

Diary, June 28, 1940 (#6)

I was at S.’s today, telling her about our night over in the countryside.

How MN filled the woodstove with wood stacked in the kitchen, how the stove puffed and groaned and how good the three eggs I found in the old hen house tasted. Hens were around so the eggs were fresh.

S. laughed, she seemed at ease. She said I am good for MN. He needs a diversion in his life. He needs a woman to fry him eggs in the morning.

MN has never told me about his past. I thought it would come in time. There is such little chance now, with him scarce and not even S. knowing where he is from day to day.

S. and I were having our usual talk when the maid informed her the German, Lieutenant Wolflauf was downstairs.

This German is very cordial, quiet, but commanding. He kissed my hand, which I thought outrageous considering his army has just invaded Paris.

I sat and said little. S. was her usual self, elegant and unflappable, but a bit nervous.

I kept staring at his shiny black boots. They seemed more than boots. They were like mirrors that saw the future.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2008

Thanks to all of you, this blog hit 200 visitors yesterday.

October 2, 2008

That’s small potatoes for most blogs, but this one is pretty new out of the egg.

There were a lot of emails to me privately, many of them men asking some very good questions on dominance. Women generally asked questions about their own submission. I tried and did write to everyone, but I caution here  I don’t have many answers. I just know  my own experience and that is wobbly. Still discovering stuff.

Just so people know…I sent the men to Dominant websites where I had prior experience or not for a look see. I give no recommendations as to yea or nay, people need to investigate and draw their own conclusions. I strongly encourage the men writing me to leave questions at these three websites, all very different in nature and philosophy on D/s.

The women I directed generally to Taken In Hand. After I check with her, there might be another possibility for women to check out these issues of submissive/slave. I know a wonderful woman who has very good and strong views on these issues. In fact, I know a couple…but I have to ask first…I will get back to each one as I can on this.

Some of the correspondence was very thought provoking.

On this question of Dominance:

“I have felt I was a naturally dominant man, but how do I convince my wife that my expression of dominance isn’t brutality, or abuse? She’s a feminist.”

Beats me. That is a question an experienced Dominant can answer. I can only give stabs at it.

Another one from a man: “I don’t think I understand the concept of devotion either. To me a relationship is an exchange of values…or an agreement on values. “Love” is the ultimate exchange/agreement.”

And: “I don’t really know what being ‘dominant’ means to others, but to me, it’s being a Man. The problem today is how this is expressed and seen by women.”

Since I am going to run a thread soon on general and specific questions of Pain/Pleasure, some of the emails yesterday gave me a basis for further thought.

“The woman I told you about:
It seems to me that she was willing to put herself under the control of a man…..but this was for sexual purposes, not in daily living. She was far too bright and far to strong and self-assured/confident for that. But in the sexual arena she was (in my experience) quite extreme in her desires and I don’t think she could give herself permission/release to enjoy the things she desired. Therefore, by giving herself to a man (by being submissive) she was really asking the man to:
a) do some of those things that she desired to her
b) release her from her own guilt/inhibitions, so that she could focus on enjoying her body
c) approve of and enjoy her “debauchery” with her
d) understand her needs (pain, being “used”, rough sex, bondage, etc.)
Now, for my part, her need for (for example) quite intense nipple and breast pain during sex was…to say the least interesting…and in the moment quite beautiful. I didn’t find it “dirty” or reprehensible…it was a need in her and the fulfillment of that need was very obviously an orgasmic (is too shallow a word) experience for her. Personally, I think the pain was needed as a way of centering herself on her sex and taking her mind off her need to satisfy her lover rather than herself. She could quite easily have spent all of our time together satisfying me….and she would have been very happy….but not fulfilled, I think.
As I say, she was a very bright woman and I think that she didn’t need to submit (the whole idea of actually submitting is strange to me….I have spent my life avoiding having to submitt….it’s why I work for myself) so much as she needed to lose control….and she did that by giving up control to another…on occassion. Also there is the aspect of being protected…as long as the control is given to someone you trust…..she had the safety and security of knowing that she could let herself be herself and that no harm would come to her.”
Lady Nyo:
Ahhh.. people…you do all the work!~ I am presently trying to formulate some questions on Pain/Pleasure…or more correctly Sadomasochism…but people already (the usual suspects) are not waiting for me to produce a questionnaire, but are writing down their own thoughts and experiences. That is so good, because in reading their experiences, it hones my own ability to ask certain questions.
Thank you all again for making this blog interesting for me,…and for doing so much of the work.
Lady Nyo

Pain and Pleasure/ Sadism and Masochism….

September 27, 2008

There has been a lot of discussion on email…not on this blog, but through email about these issues above. I have decided to open the blog up for these issues we have been discussing privately.

I have only a little experience here, but have developed some interest over the summer. At first I thought it just an issue of bondage, or in particular shibari, but then it became something else. It was a path to some sort of self-discovery, but I didn’t have the wherewithall to continue it in an orderly and analytic fashion. I was detracted at the time with other issues, most importantly getting “Seasoning of Lust” together for publication.

I am not what I would consider a true pain slut….but there were issues I wanted to explore. I am in the the hands of an expert in these things now. He is a man I trust and this didn’t develop fast. I had some false starts and stops before I considered him. He was there all the time, but I wasn’t thinking of him in this way. We were friends and we were always discussing history and politics and other issues, I just forgot that he was known to be ‘good’ in this particular issue. I think I was blocking this knowledge out of my own fear.  This issue is dark and deep and where do you go to safely explore it?

You have to trust someone deeply before you do this stuff. You have to pick wisely, and it takes a while to come to a point where you ‘hear’ each other. It doesn’t happen overnight.  Jump in too fast and you will get hurt.

Others though, are way ahead of me on this issue, and they will be posting their experience and their own paths in these questionable issues.

I say questionable, because something like this is always open to question by our society. However, there are many people that are drawn to this route for different reasons, and I am most interested in what women have to say about these things.

We will raise many questions here..and attempt to answer them, to each her own experience. Perhaps I will do the same form…a questionnaire, but I have to figure out the questions first. However, I encourage people reading this blog to write your own experiences and opinions and send them to me….you don’t have to wait for any questionnaire. It works fine both ways.

So, this will be another case where this blog is broadened in scope, and I hope that we learn more about the inner tickings of pain and pleasure and how they relate.

Coming soon.

Lady Nyo

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