Posts Tagged ‘Satire’

‘Bad Karma’, from “A Seasoning of Lust”.

March 12, 2017

revised-cover-2776

https://goo.gl/YNzows

For my friends who have  a sense of humor…

Bao Ling sat on the balcony of Floating Wind brothel. A courtesan of low rank, she was deep into writing verse. She now had a scroll of 100 poems, needing revision.

“Bao! Bao! Squat Mother says you are to prepare for honored guest. Come in and apply your cosmetics”

Poor lame Midori was her maid and Bao turned her face obediently to the brushes and powders of her only friend.

“Who’s coming?” she asked as Midori painted her eyebrows high on her forehead.

“So sorry, but it’s Tanaka-san today.”

Bao’s eyes widened. “Aiiieee! He likes things pushed in odd places!”

“Just do as he wants. We’ll have rice balls later.”

Tanaka-san’s karma was to be short shafted and have peculiar desires.   Bao mourned her own karma.

In her confusion Midori grabbed the slim scroll of poems and put it where the sun don’t shine.

Midori was beaten. Over rice balls, they decided the poems had bad karma and probably belonged where they ended.

 

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted 2016…

 

 

PC “Twelve Days of Christmas”

December 12, 2008

A dear friend sent this to me…I don’t know who wrote it, and hope I don’t get in trouble here…but come and get me.

Just tooooooo funny!

12 Days of Christmas for the Politically Correct

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone- poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree


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