Posts Tagged ‘Satire’

“Metamorphosis V”

April 12, 2017

 Image result for fruit bats

Mine, mine, mine”.

Thank you to all who have been reading this series and have expressed your ‘liking’ for the piece.  It was a lot of fun to write, even though it has grown whiskers since it was written.  There are a few more episodes to post.

Lady Nyo 


“Come on, Laura, pick it up! I can’t stay up here all day.  It’s exhausting!”

Bart was suspended in mid air, about ten feet from the roof apex, twenty feet off the ground.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. What if they don’t work?”

Laura, mesmerized by the languid flap of Bart’s massive wings, stood on the top of the roof. She remembered the times he trapped her small, delicate wings within his and felt the power of his dominance. Bart had many faults, and a sadistic nature, but his sexual allure could not be denied. Laura was blossoming like a rose, with little Japanese beetles buried deep within her petals. She felt Shibari was helping them bond, though Bart left her too long in the bindings. Parts of her had turned temporarily blue. She was finding this ‘freedom of the ropes’ one knot at a time.

“Come on, Laura, I’ll catch you. Trust me. Now, run fast and leap. Your wings should work fine.”

Laura did as she was told and hit the air running. She dropped like a stone.

“Bart! You Fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

“Hey, Laura! Next time flap your wings, not your gums.”


Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2017



‘Bad Karma’, from “A Seasoning of Lust”.

March 12, 2017


For my friends who have  a sense of humor…

Bao Ling sat on the balcony of Floating Wind brothel. A courtesan of low rank, she was deep into writing verse. She now had a scroll of 100 poems, needing revision.

“Bao! Bao! Squat Mother says you are to prepare for honored guest. Come in and apply your cosmetics”

Poor lame Midori was her maid and Bao turned her face obediently to the brushes and powders of her only friend.

“Who’s coming?” she asked as Midori painted her eyebrows high on her forehead.

“So sorry, but it’s Tanaka-san today.”

Bao’s eyes widened. “Aiiieee! He likes things pushed in odd places!”

“Just do as he wants. We’ll have rice balls later.”

Tanaka-san’s karma was to be short shafted and have peculiar desires.   Bao mourned her own karma.

In her confusion Midori grabbed the slim scroll of poems and put it where the sun don’t shine.

Midori was beaten. Over rice balls, they decided the poems had bad karma and probably belonged where they ended.


Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted 2016…



PC “Twelve Days of Christmas”

December 12, 2008

A dear friend sent this to me…I don’t know who wrote it, and hope I don’t get in trouble here…but come and get me.

Just tooooooo funny!

12 Days of Christmas for the Politically Correct

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone- poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree

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