Something New! Over at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai Chevrefeuille is running a no rules challenge. Like Basho said: “Learn the Rules, then immediately forget them and write from the heart. Unfortunately, most modern haiku and tanka writers don’t LEARN the rules. LOL! These are rather free for all pieces, with kigo words, etc. Nope, couldn’t do it. Once you learn something about writing haiku and tanka, it’s damn hard to do it without kigo.
Lady Nyo
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Haiku….with kigo.
I chase one red leaf
Across dry and brittle grass
Juice of summer gone.
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Frosty autumn night
The moon glides through chilly dreams
Red Maple stands sentry.
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These next five are haiku without kigo.
Under the dark moon
I awaited your return
Only shadows came.
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The moon, a ghostly
Sliver, sails on a jet sea
Wild dogs howl beneath.
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The soil our bed
Our classroom and our graves.
Reborn to the world.
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Childhood is tough
Adults are the enemy
Kids fodder for wars
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Imagination
Such a fragile thing.
Child’s salvation
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Tanka…. With kigo….
Autumn wind startles–
Lowered to an ominous
Key—Ah! Mournful sounds!
The fat mountain deer listen-
Add their bellowing sorrow.
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I wander the fields
Snow covers the barren soil
Sharp wind plays pan pipes
A murder of crows huddle
Black laughing fruit hang from limbs
(Kigo word is interesting. Using snow as a kigo is rather obvious. Kigo should infer a season. Snow hits you over the head.)
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And one without….
How could I forget
The beauty of the pale moon!
A face of sorrow
Growing thin upon the tide
Pulls my heart within its light.
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Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2017
Tags: carpe diem haiku kai, Haiku and Tanka, no rules this time!
July 8, 2017 at 9:57 am
Jane, I think your haiku is nature based with some definite kigo. The red leaf, summer, etc. A joy to read though.The first tanka also has kigo ie autumn wind – a stunning tanka. Loved the third one too.
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July 8, 2017 at 12:42 pm
thanks, Petru. It’s damn hard to get away from kigo. LOL! Yes, I knew it…..it’s almost impossible to write without kigo if you have been trained in it. LOL! Thanks for reading.
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July 8, 2017 at 12:43 pm
I will try again to write without kigo….though once it;s in the brain pan, it’s hard to not do.
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July 8, 2017 at 12:56 pm
I looked up the poet mentioned on the Carpe Diem site, Santoka Taneda and that helped. Thanks for posting this, I would’ve missed it otherwise. Busy deciding what to do myself.
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July 8, 2017 at 1:06 pm
well, I added some haiku without kigo…at least I didn’t ‘see’ any kigo. LOL! But what is the point of it? It was hard enough to learn to discern and use kigo….and now not? LOL. I’ll look up Santoka Taneda.
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July 8, 2017 at 1:53 pm
I learnt the 5-7-5 classic haiku and it was hard breaking from it. I wonder if English has a rhythm different to Japanese? Seems to be important to how a haiku is composed re amount of syllables used.
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July 8, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Well, this is what I have found out about tanka and haiku in Japanese and the translation into English: Japanese haiku (also tanka ) can run 3-4-3-4-4 or different combinations. Lots of reasons for this. And, every sentence, word ends in a vowel.l
I don’t break from the 5/7/5/77 form. I find that a little more ‘room’ in English makes it easier for English writers to compose. I was taught that tanka is expelled in two breaths, in a monotone, and haiku is one breath. So, breath is as important as syllables used. Look for Japanese tanka and haiku in the written language….and even if your words are not quite sounding Japanese, you can pick up the rhythm very easily. Arthur Waley was a good one for trying to keep the classical form in his translations.
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July 8, 2017 at 6:49 pm
Oh wow! Well done. I also like more room to ‘breathe’ in the 5-7-5 form. Perhaps the discipline of the 3-4-3 form will be good for one? I wonder. Thanks for this.
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July 8, 2017 at 8:16 pm
you can try it, but it can end up stilted in the mouths of English writers. Japanese have such a different language structure, and there are no articles mostly. English writers do the 3/4 version because they think it sounds ‘Oriental’. LOL! Clipped speech. I think one should venture into the 3-4-3 form only if one reads Japanese. But then again, this is just an opinion. I’m sure there are many successful English haiku written in this shorter form.
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