“Diary of a Changeling” #7

N.B. THIS IS A NON-FLASHER FORM.  Mackerals flying around here..

This series is proving popular with some and absolutely hated by others. Perhaps it is frustrating because the truncated, flasher form (200 words) leaves too many questions as to what is happening and this form doesn’t give enough to keep some folks interest.

For others, the form does exactly this: it creates tension and nuance that draws them into the web of the story. I have received some emails privately from readers that are frustrated because they want MORE story immediately and have asked to ditch the flasher form and write longggg. And about the same who appreciate the ‘tease’ of the story as presented.

I could go long, but then the tension would be lost I believe. And, I think the story out as I go. I think this is important for any writer in that we bridle ourselves and enjoy the ride. For why do we write these things if not for ourselves first, and then others?

Lady Nyo

Diary #7

S. rang me up this morning. She wants me to consider moving to her apartment. She says she has too much room, and she gets lonely for company.

I think she is worried about me and wants me close. That is fine, MN also stays there on occasion and we would have more access to each other.

It would be nice to be able to sleep with him in a big, comfortable bed. That lumpy mattress did little for my bones.

S. is worried because I am thinner. It’s hard to get a normal diet with food rationing and the stores depleted. The Germans are getting the milk, butter and meat. We are seeing rutabagas and turnips showing up more and more and bread and cheeses are almost non existent.

There are posters appearing all over the boulevards, condemning the Jews, even saying “Kill the Jews.” Saying they wanted the war, let them have it.

Idiots! These have to be the French collaborating with the stupid Germans. Decent French would not sully their minds with such crap.

S. said we are living in dangerous times and it will get worse. We are surrounded with enemies posing as friends.

Jane Kohut-Bartels
Copyrighted, 2008

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6 Responses to ““Diary of a Changeling” #7”

  1. phoenix Says:

    Well i for one love being made to wait for more, it make me eager for the next installment. BTW the diary form works well, it fits with the plot and story.

    I DO admit it would be nice if you would include more D/s in these flashers, but then i’m a total perv *grins*



  2. Jane Says:

    sweetheart…I understand….I worry that there is little enough D/s…but it turns into a story of salvation/ redemption and love….I think.

    I don’t know exactly yet…..but I am glad you see how well the diary form works here…it has to be taken in little bits because it’s intense…

    Others find it cliff hanging…I don’t know, but I could write it flat out..but I don’t know that I could twick the tension, and mystery that way.

    Thank you, phoenix for reading…always…and always your comments…they are helpful and a barometer of what impact this story is making…



  3. phoenix Says:

    Well the fact is that it’s YOUR writing and you have the right to use any style you wish. Those who don’t like it are hardly being forced to read it.

    My OPINION is that, by righting it all at once, the tension of the piece would lessen. Still it’s up to you not me or anyone else how you write it.



  4. Jane Says:

    The general complaint …besides the fact that a few commenting are saying…”where’s the sex!”….is that it doesn’t ‘fit’ the flasher form.

    Ok…a flasher has a beginning, middle and end…and the diary doesn’t necessarily seem so.

    I have two choices here…either extend the series to a quickie…or leave.

    I chose to leave and just post it on my blog.

    Also, I am tired of explaining to people that have no fucking idea about Germany/Nazis/Jews …the issues.

    Writers should try at least to educate themselves about these important issues.

    Jane….surly right now…put pretty free of pain!


  5. phoenix Says:

    hi Jane,

    *shrugs* well unless the diary form is against the rules people have no right to tell you how to write your pieces. If they don’t like it they always have the option of not reading it.



  6. Jane Says:

    The problem isn’t that the diary or flasher form is against the rules..it’s that a flasher has a beginning, middle and end…should stand alone…all pieces..or flashers…

    Mine is a continuation….and the flasher form of 200 words allows me to be more ‘zinggy’.

    People are right here….but I’m 8 pieces into this story.

    and a diary is a particular form that I have never tried before…nor has others.

    I can listen and learn…and I can also be bound by the opinions of some that aren’t that helpful

    I am at a critical stage of my writing…and I am flapping against restrains..

    LOL!…Well, 90% of ERWA has been very positive for me..and I am not talking about crits..they come and go…I’m talking about learning how to be a writer.

    But right now….I am like a kid saying…” I can do it myself”…

    I am so full of ideas…and just want to explore them.

    Jane…and most there are very well meaning people…good writers, too.


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