One haiku, two tanka for Carpe Diem Haiku Kai

The haiku is a ‘revised’ haiku based on one written by Kiyoshi

Kiyoshi :

Only silence

the summer breezes caressed

Wisteria blossoms

 —

Lady Nyo:

Only stillness

Escapes summer’s intentions

four o’clocks close up.

(four o’clocks are flowers in the south that close up with summer’s heat and open at dusk when it cools.  They remain open, scenting the night and feed moths, nocturnal feeders.  heavy scent.)

Prompt “fragile beauty”

 

Her lovely snow-flesh

tracery of blue veins

fold themselves gently

grief’s ragged breath draws

hauntings of her beauty

=

A prompt to do with wit?

Yes, I forgive you.

(Hands unclean from previous crimes)

Go wash them in snow.

(The snow of last year’s falling)

Then I will reconsider.

=-

Jane Kohut-Bartels

Copyrighted, 2016

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6 Responses to “One haiku, two tanka for Carpe Diem Haiku Kai”

  1. Mother Willow Says:

    It is all so visible and lovely written.

    Like

  2. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Helene. These prompts are really intriguing. Thank you for reading and your lovely comment. I’ll be over after dinner tonight.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kim881 Says:

    Great to see you on here Jane! I love these, especially the ‘fragile beauty’ tanka!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ladynyo Says:

    Thank you, Kim! I’m loving these sites that attend to tanka and haibun etc. For some reason, I read ‘wit’ as a prompt…lol….but that was rather fun. This tanka (the last one…) came from a longer poem from “Song of the Nightingale”, published last year. There is a section where the Lady Nyo (character in this book) is ‘bitching’ to her husband. LOL! That book is about a marriage, although in 16th century Japan. Thank you, Kim for reading and your encouraging comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. kim881 Says:

    I’m loving you popping up on Carpe Diem – it’s a bit like having a friend come along to a party!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ladynyo Says:

    Oh! I love that! I can use all the friends I can get! The world is a scary place right now. This Carpe Diem is wonderful…I’m very new but it’s a lot of fun.

    Liked by 1 person

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